I was talking to a fellow Autism mom one day, early in the stages after we found out Chase's diagnosis, and I was really struggling with not having anyone I could talk to, that could relate to what we were dealing with and going through. I was feeling like I had cut off all my friends, withdrawn from most anything social, and was totally alone. She said to me "It's OKAY to pull away and deal with this however you need to. Right now your focus needs to be on Chase and on whatever you all need to do to get him help. I am just now reconnecting with friends I had pulled away from when we first found out, and it's been almost a year and a half. They will understand."
I keep reminding myself of this conversation from time to time when I start to feel like I am the worst friend in the world. I know I may seem selfish and self-absorbed to some people, but this is just my survival mode right now. I have forgotten so many birthdays in the last year, and forgotten to return countless texts messages and phone calls. I am horrible at remembering pretty much ANYTHING these days outside of my own kids' schedules, so PLEASE know that I still love and cherish all my close friends and family. And please don't stop calling and texting! I do still think about you all ALL the time. And as much as I loathe so many things about social media, I LOVE being able to see everyone's pictures and life happenings. It makes me feel a little more connected to all those people I love so much! And I am so grateful for everyone's continued support and prayers for us even now as we continue down this path that God has given us! I'm not going to lie, it's not easy day to day, but the payoffs are far better than anything we could imagine when they happen!
xoxo
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