The Lake

I say this all the time, but Chase never ceases to amaze me.  We took a last minute trip to my aunt and uncle's lake house a couple of weekends ago, in Alabama.  My boys had never been to the lake/river, never been on or around a boat, and I wasn't really sure what to expect.  I wasn't THAT nervous because my sister was going and my parents were meeting us there so I knew Chase would at least feel comfortable with familiar faces around.  I was more nervous about how he would react to being on a boat or waverunner and how he would do swimming in the lake where he couldn't see the bottom.

Well, I did NOT need to worry about any of it because he LOVED it all!  We got there around 6pm and he went straight down to the dock to the water wanting to get in.  And he did!  He jumped right off that dock, swam around to the steps and did it over and over again!

He was not scared at all to ride the boat of the wave runner either.  He was a little nervous, gripping us tightly at first, but once we got going he loved it! :)  (Miles, on the other hand, was a different story)

The 4-wheeler was BY FAR, Chase's favorite thing about the weekend!!!  He wanted to ride every waking minute! haha!  I think every person there took him on at least one ride.  

I am so thankful we had the opportunity to expose the boys to such a fun experience, especially since I grew up at the lake with my family from the time I was born through college.  It was such a neat and awesome experience to watch our kids experience things for the first time and see the excitement and joy on their faces!  Not only that, but to spend time with family who we don't see very often was a treat itself!  

Diet Update and Observations

We are still doing the GFCF diet.  And although we have seen A LOT of new and exciting things happening with Chase lately, especially new words, I am still skeptical and hesitant of this diet.  IT'S SO HARD!  I know I am being a total wuss about it.  I give in more times than I want to admit and let him eat regular waffles, or goldfish, or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.   It's just hard when he's so pick and eats soooo little not to want to give him what I know he likes.  And the times that get me the most are when his eyes well up with tears and he starts crying to eat what he sees Miles eating.  Breaks my heart, and breaks me down...I give in every time.

It's not the end of the world.  His reactions to gluten and casein aren't so severe that it throws our whole household out of whack, but I know it just makes it harder to start over the next day or meal.

The biggest things we have noticed with Chase, regarding when he eats gluten/casein vs. when he doesn't, is his temperament and emotions.  If he eats it he seems to be so much more sensitive (crying at everything) or has more tantrums and stims on his iPad much more.  He seems much more hyper, jumping and flapping around the house.  I have also noticed that he "zones out" more when he's eaten gluten and casein.  He isn't as responsive to us and seems like he's ignoring us when we call his name.  He also isn't as tolerant of Miles and the hitting and pushing resurface.  He's overall just more emotional and you never know how he's going to react to something.  When he's on a good stint of GFCF he's much more predictable and mellow.  The stimming is significantly less and he responds to his name and us asking him to do things MUCH better.

So, I can't deny that this diet is helping Chase.  I know I need to buckle down and be really strict on it, but we are still working on getting him to eat more variety to make that a little easier on us.  Right now his diet consists mainly of fruit, peanut butter, ruffles and GF chicken strips.  He will occasionally eat other things, but he's starting to get to where he won't even eat the chicken (I'm sure he's sick of having it EVERY night for dinner, I know I would be!).  So until we can widen our array of foods, we are doing the best we can to stick to this diet and hoping to see some more awesome progress unfold with Chase! :)

Just Be "Mom"

When this whole journey started with Chase and he began therapies with TEIS (when he was around 2 1/2) I put a lot of pressure on myself to do as much therapy with him as possible when he was at home, not in school or therapies.  I was constantly beating myself up, feeling like I could have done more that day; I should have done more.  I hear this same feeling from a lot of mom's with children with Autism.  We always feel like we could be doing MORE, always!  And it can really beat you down emotionally.

Someone made the comment to me once, "Just be his Mom, and don't put too much pressure on yourself the be his therapist 24/7.  He needs a mom first and foremost, more than a therapist."  And when I stopped and really thought about it, it was true.  Yea, he may have learned to stack blocks faster if I had pushed harder, or he may have learned to play back and forth catch sooner if I did more practicing with him, but at the end of the day, I decided I just wanted to ENJOY my child.  Life is too short and we were all exhausted and stressed out enough as it was at that point.  I didn't want to always be "working" on something.  I just wanted to play!  To laugh!  To hug and cuddle!  And if I could work in a little therapy strategies here and there, throughout the day, while we are playing and doing fun things, then great!

Once I took that pressure off myself I felt like I could breathe a little more.  I felt like I actually enjoyed my child more and I think he felt the pressure on him lift as well.  I'm not saying not to reinforce therapy strategies at home, but there has to be a balance.  Now that Chase is in school every morning and at Brown until 4 every afternoon, it doesn't leave much time to practice or do much therapy at home.  So I spend at lot of time emailing his therapists and teachers at school, to make sure they know what he's working on at Brown, to make sure everyone is on the same page, and to make sure Chase's therapies are as consistent as possible.  And we spend meal time and bath time trying to work in some strategies and "work".

The rest of the time I let him do his thing for the most part.  He's only 4.  He still needs time to be just a kid.  And this is something I have to remind myself of often.  I get anxious to push and push and see results, but I know it won't do any good for any of us to push too hard.  My one piece of advice, that was shared with me and I pass along, is for any new mom's or parents starting out on this journey, feeling like they have to do it all, remember that your child NEEDS YOU as a mom/parent first and foremost.  The therapists will come and go, but you are the one constant cheerleader your child will have.  The more you can praise and encourage your child and make them feel secure, the best chance they have at succeeding.  And I think this is true of ALL children, not just children with Autism or special needs.