Family Week

I am now in my 7th week at Cumberland Heights and absolutely LOVING my new job! As a new employee, who does not have a direct impact from any kind of addiction, it was recommended that I participate in "Family Week" to learn about addiction and recovery. So, I spent three days last week going through "Family Week" with the families of patients who were currently in their 3rd week of treatment at Cumberland Heights. 

It was such an eye-opening and educational experience on so many levels. I definitely learned a lot about the disease of addiction. I learned about all the ways addiction affects each individual's family and loved ones. I learned about the roller coaster of emotions these family members have been through and are going through as their loved ones are getting treatment. And the anxiety and fear they have thinking about the inevitable future as these patients leave this safe haven of treatment. But the ones I could relate the most to were the parents of children dealing with addiction.  

Co-dependency is a big topic during family week. As I learned about how families can "enable" an addict and become co-dependent on them for their own happiness and self-worth, a reality hit me hard. This is exactly what I, and I assume many other parents of children with Autism, must feel as we navigate our own children's paths to "recovery".  

Any parent who is on the journey of "recovery" from Autism (which is a hot topic of its own), can attest that it is a constant roller coaster of emotions and feelings. There are a lot good days and a lot of bad days. It's a constant 3 steps forward 2 steps back, song and dance. It puts a lot of stress on marriages and outside relationships because so much time, energy and money is spent trying to "heal" our children. It's a 24/7 battle. I hear of marriages crumbling far too often, due to the strain and stress this journey causes. It can make or break you, and for us, my husband and I, we are not exempt from these struggles either. 

I found myself, while learning about co-dependency of family members and addicts, thinking about how I start and end my days (especially, more so in the beginning of this "recovery" journey) and how I am somewhat co-dependent on Chase's well-being for my own happiness and attitude. A lot of mornings my mood depends on how Chase's attitude and behaviors are when he wakes up; and Miles's also, but not to the same extent. If Chase is happy, calm and "present" my mood is generally pretty good.  But if he wakes up irritable, "off" or "stimmy" I immediately shut down. My patience is thin. I myself become irritable and short. My faith goes out the window and the weight of the world falls on my shoulders. Communication shuts down. I internalize and take out my stress and frustration on everyone else, mostly my husband.   

But when Chase has good days I feel like I'm on top of the world. I feel like we can beat this diagnosis and like everything will be OK. The future looks bright and the channels of communication are open and good.

Over time, as we have navigated the ebbs and flows of this recovery journey, and I have come to realize that I am doing EVERYTHING I can at this moment to help my child, I can feel the strings of co-dependency lessening. I feel myself breathing again. As cheesy as it sounds, when I "LET GO AND LET GOD" and give it all over to Him, the stress seems to fade. It's always there on some level, but I know that it's ultimately out of my control. 

I have also come to realize that for Chase to have his best shot at "recovery", I have to be on my A-game and be in a good place mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, to best be able to help him. I have made a conscious effort the last several months to make time for myself, to work out regularly, to take a deep breath and have more patience, to give the boys equal time and attention, to communicate effectively and openly, to schedule date nights and alone time with my husband and to get back to church regularly (now that we have found a church that can meet Chase's needs as well). It’s something I have to remind myself to do every day, but we are healing and recovering as a family now. And I was reminded again last week, sitting through family week, that recovery is not an individual journey, it’s a family journey.

A New Chapter

Trust and patience.  I guess you could say that has been the theme of the summer.

One night, back in March, I was laying in bed, and after researching and reading a friend's post on Facebook about how well her son was doing at his new school (they had moved to Indiana to go to this school a few months prior), I decided we needed to go to Fishers, Indiana and check out this school for Chase.  We made arrangements and drove to Fishers one Friday, shortly after that, in April.  It poured down rain the entire way there.

The school was great though!  The insurance in the state of Indiana was EVEN BETTER!  100% coverage for ABA therapy once your (small) deductible is met.  The insurance in TN doesn't cover ANY and it was starting to add up!  This new school we toured was an ABA based program.  5 days a week, 8 hours a day...it's intense, but it works!  We drove home, still pouring down rain, and decided we needed to move to Indiana and start Chase in this school.  We would go through this whole job hunt and moving our family once again.

Chase started the job searching process.  We made several wonderful connections, that were truly God-connections, in Indianapolis, and it looked like this was really going to happen!  We decided to pull Chase from The Brown Center at the end of May.  Our goal was to be in Indiana for him to start school by the end of the summer (even though the program goes year round).

So our time at BCA came to an end, May 28.  It was a bittersweet day.  We felt like it was time to move on and that these next few months we would just enjoy being "off" until we could figure out our move.

But God had bigger plans.  Another local "school" program kept being mentioned to me and kept popping up in conversation (Illuminate Academy) IA.  So, "just in case things didn't work out with Indiana" I went to tour the school so we would have another option for school in the fall.  We were not very happy with the previous year's experience with public school Pre-K, so Kindergarten wasn't an option at this point.  But it turned out IA was offering a summer camp program for the months of June and July, and since Chase had nothing else to do, I signed him up.

It was a lot of outside, sensory, and physical play.  I felt like it would be a nice change/break from his previous schedule...and he LOVED it!  The teachers and staff were AMAZING!  It was truly a God-send.  I felt like he was getting lots of stimulation (more than I could have ever provided him at home), interaction with peers, but still having "fun"!  And I felt like it was the perfect trial run for him to get acclimated with the staff and students before starting the next school year (if we decided to stay).

Chase had a couple of job leads, and a couple of interviews, but nothing panned out.  We always believed that if it was meant to work out, that God would provide.  We trusted that He would present the perfect job opportunity and things would fall in to place if that was His plan.  But by mid to late July there was nothing.  So we decided to take that as a sign that we were supposed to stay in Nashville.

I was secretly relieved.  The thought of moving away from all our family and friends, even further, to a place where we knew no one, and the winters were SO COLD, was scary.  IA summer camp was coming to a close, and Chase had had so much fun there over the summer that it was a no-brainer to just send him there in the fall.  They were in the process of moving locations/buildings and would start August 19.  We went through the application process, interviews, etc and were set to go by the end of July.

Then August rolled around.  It was a Monday.  I took the boys to the play ground right by our house, that happens to be part of the elementary school that we are zoned for also.  We were the only ones there and all of a sudden this panicky feeling overtook me.  I pictured Chase at this school.  Having recess on this playground (that he was already so familiar with).  I started sobbing and immediately called Chase.  "Are we making a mistake?"  "Should we be giving public school Kindergarten a shot?"  "Is this the best decision for Chase?"...I had a million doubts all of sudden.  I had gotten all the metro school info the previous weeks and had just set them all to the side without really even reading them.  The next day was come and go "Meet the Teacher" day.  We decided to just go check it out and see if we could get a feel for his class, teachers, schedule, etc.

Then another mom and her 2 kids walked up to the playground, so I hung up with Chase and tried to pull myself together.  We started talking and it turned out her son was starting Kindergarten also.  She had been a special ed teacher prior to having kids and had wonderful, reassuring things to say about this school.  I swear God sent her there to calm me down!  The more we talked, the more I felt pulled to give public school a chance.

So we went to "Meet the Teacher" and had another overwhelming feeling that THIS is actually what we needed to do for Chase.  It's scary going in to a place where you know none of the staff, you have no connections, know no other parents, etc.  But it turned out we DID have connections and familiar faces we weren't even aware of.  One of Chase's special ed teachers has a sister who was college roommates with one of my dearest friends here in Nashville.  And the new Vice Principle this year, it turns out, is a girl I grew up going to church with in Jackson.

It made sense on every level.  Our house lease will be up in Feb.  We really want to buy a house, but are in such limbo, not really knowing where to buy (because most of it depends on the best public school option for Chase at this point).  We haven't been able to save a penny because we are paying out of pocket for all schooling and therapies.  The public school option will save us a LOT of money, allow us to save for a house, as well as do some additional therapies after school that we haven't and wouldn't be able to afford otherwise.  It will give us a "trial run" to see if this school is a good fit for Chase before purchasing in this area.  And we feel like, if at any point it stops working for Chase, we can always pull him out and, God-willing there is a place for Chase at IA, we can send him there at any point.

God threw us a major curve ball!  I should have known to "never say 'never'"!  Because here we are doing the very thing we said we were not going to do (send Chase to public school Kindergarten at 5 years old).  But so far it was been a true blessing!

And just when we thought God had shown us His plan, he threw yet another curve ball at us.  A family friend texted me mid to late July asking if I would be interested in going back to work?  I said "Sure, but only on a part-time basis due to Chase's demanding schedule of therapies etc.".  He said there was a possibility of something in the future, but didn't elaborate and I didn't really give it a second thought.

The same week we decided to start Chase in Kindergarten (on a Wednesday), I got an interview for a Social Media Marketing Manager position at Cumberland Heights rehab facility that following Friday!  By the following Monday I had an offer for the job, which they so graciously allowed to be a part-time position for me.  It was a TOTAL God-send!  I've always talked about going back to work eventually, but I'm not sure I would have ever thought to look for something like this.  It's so perfect!  This job totally found me.  I have felt God at work in our lives these past few months more than ever!

So Monday starts a new chapter for the Herndon family.  Miles will be starting 5 days a week at his preschool (which he is THRILLED about).  Big Chase continues to "kill it" at his job, loving his coworkers and doctors.   Little Chase is (and I quote his special ed teacher) "blowing his IEP goals out of the water!"  And I will be starting a new job as Social Media Manager for Cumberland Heights.  Nashville...we are here to stay! ;)

We cannot thank our family and friends, our support system, enough for the continued prayers and encouragement on this journey!  It has been so humbling and we could not have made it to this point without all of you!

Life Lately

It's been a while since my last post.  A LOT has happened.  Life has been crazy, to say the least, and hard.  I have been too exhausted from hours in internet research to take the time to post anything, but tonight we had a breakthrough!

The major changes as of late have come about because of the biomedical and diet approaches we have been taking in regards to Chase's "gut".  We met with a biomedical doctor back in December after being on a gluten free/casein free/soy free diet for 7 months.  In simplified terms, I was concerned about Chase's "gut health" so we did a stool and urine test.  Those came back showing he was high in candida (yeast) and clostridia/c. diff. (bacteria) among other things.  His doctor first recommended 2 probiotics for Chase, along with Methyl B-12 injections (every 3 days), fish oil supplements, a multivitamin, grapefruit seed extract (to naturally fight yeast) and some digestive enzymes (which were chewable and Chase wouldn't take them).

So we started the probiotics (rotating every day), shots every 3 days, multivitamin (when we could remember to give it), fish oil every morning, GSE every day.  The shots were recommended to be given at night after he had fallen asleep so he wouldn't squirm or flinch.  The needle is tiny and we were also given lidocaine cream to use to numb the spot.  We found it difficult to give them without waking him up, and when we did give him the shot successfully at night he would later wake up in the middle of the night wide awake!  So we started giving them in the morning, first thing, and didn't have any problem getting him to lay still while we give it.  He is used to it now and doesn't even flinch.

We did all these supplements for 3 months and went back to the Dr. in March.  Based on the previous stool and urine tests it was recommended that we start Chase on 2 weeks of compounded liquid Diflucan (to treat the yeast) followed by 3 months of Nystatin.

We started the Diflucan and the first few days were REALLY rough.  Chase went through what is called a "die-off" period where certain behaviors (stimming, tantrums/meltdowns, sensory issues) were REALLY bad.  Then things started to level out and it was AMAZING!  Chase was talking up a storm at therapy.  He said "see mom", "I fall", lots of new words, great eye contact and focus, great receptive skills...it was the BEST and happiest he has ever been.  I began to see this road to recovery and really believe it could happen.

We finished off the Diflucan and started the Nystatin around mid-April.  I expected a few more days of "die-off" in the beginning and it seemed like that was happening.  But that "die-off" never got better.  Chase just continued to spiral out of control  He developed some major OCD tendencies we had never seen before (moving things to specific places in the house over and over and over, not stepping over thresholds of doors/rooms, weird tics and walks where he would swipe his foot behind him every few steps, obsessed over swinging in the back yard to the point it's ALL he wanted to do ALL day long!).  He was also losing eye contact again, wouldn't respond to his name at all, MAJOR stimming came back along with MAJOR tantrums over every single thing!  We were losing him again!  It was HELL.  I felt like we were back at square one.  All the hard work we had done the last 2 years was gone.

After 3 weeks on Nystatin and researching and researching and researching online and talking with LOTS of other "biomed moms" via groups I'm on on Facebook (my life savers)...I learned that Nystatin was made of a strain of Strep and can trigger PANDAS flairs in kids who are sensitive to strep strains.  I remembered several months back I had given Chase a probiotic that contained a strain of strep and he had developed some tantrum behaviors and some minor other things so we had stopped that probiotic just to be safe.  I wasn't 100% convinced at the time that he was sensitive to strep but now I was SURE!  I consulted with his doctor and we agreed to stop the Nystatin for good and give him some time to level out before going forward.

Chase's doctor wanted to do a blood draw (that was SO FUN!) next to test for some genetic mutations  (Chase is compound heterozygous MTHFR C677T & A1298C) and other deficiencies (low iron, low glutathione, low carnitine, elevated ammonia) and he was also concerned that after treating the yeast, that the bacteria took a strong hold and could be causing some of these behaviors also, so he Rx'd compounded flagyl (at $65 a pop) to take 5mL/3x a day for 2 weeks to treat the Clostridia.  Well, that went over like a turd in a punchbowl!  I tried for a week, fighting Chase, holding him down, prying his mouth open, mixing it with everything I could think of, and the child spit out every mL of that flagyl I tried to give him!  It was so frustrating!  So his Dr. then suggested trying Vancomycin instead.  I called the pharmacy to discuss this with them and they said it tasted just as bitter and nasty as flagyl and at $140 for the Rx (none of this stuff is covered by insurance btw) I said "no thanks" and decided to give the supplements a rest for a while!

We continued the gfcfsf diet, continued GSE, probiotics, Methyl B-12 injections, Low Dose Naltrexone cream, fish oil and multivitamin, but gave the other stuff a break.

A good friend of mine, Andi, who convinced me to do the gfcfsf diet in the first place last summer (when she started it with her son - who was 2 at the time, mostly non-verbal, awaiting a possible ASD diagnosis) had in the last year gone a different route with her son.  She had been keeping me updated on his progress and diet changes every day for the last year (which were/are truly amazing), but had decided to take a more natural and whole food approach to healing her son, with an MSG-free diet.  I knew in the back of my head it was probably the best route to take, but I also knew that Chase was an EXTREMELY picky eater and it was easier to try the supplements than fight the battle of getting him to eat kale and spinach! ;)

Andi introduced me last summer to this idea of MSG and free-glutamate causing inflammation on the brain in the same way as gluten/casein/soy/grains/etc do.  The website Unblind My Mind was what led to this idea.  And through a strict whole food and reduced free-glutamate diet she has completely "recovered" her son from Autism.  I have witnessed it first hand.  The child is amazing.  And so is Andi for all her hard work and perseverance.  All the while encouraging me to JUST TRY THE DIET!

I knew it would suck though.  I knew it would be a battle.  I knew how stubborn and strong-willed Chase is and that EVERY meal would be a battle.  But after seeing how badly he reacted to the Nystatin and what a huge set back the last few months have been, we decided it couldn't get much worse so we should just suit up and fight the battle with an even stricter diet as well!

It's been 1 month since we started Chase on a whole foods only (no more supplements or Rxs, nothing processed, nothing with preservatives or MSG/free-glutamate) diet. We have had some bumps in the road, some food infractions, LOTS of meal-time battles and lots of early morning wake up calls from a hungry 5 yr old who refused to eat his dinner!  It's been HELL!  It's been the 2nd hardest few months (behind potty training) of my life!  BUT we are seeing the light!  Chase is finally coming back to us!  He's becoming aware of us again, so HAPPY, so engaged, babbling up a storm again, MUCH less stimming, and no tantrums in a month!!!  This week he ate A POACHED EGG!! In the past, he would scream and run from the table at the sight of eggs!  And tonight, after a solid month of giving him homemade chicken nuggets at dinner, that he refused to even put in his mouth, HE ATE ONE!  Along with all his green beans and roasted sweet potatoes!  It made all the battles worth the fight!  To see my child turning a corner, coming back to us, getting better, and healing...I will never stop trying!

Red Flags

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. There is often nothing about how people with ASD look that sets them apart from other people, but they may communicate, interact, behave, and learn in ways that are different from most other people. The learning, thinking, and problem-solving abilities of people with ASD can range from gifted to severely challenged. Some people with ASD need a lot of help in their daily lives; others need less.

ASD begins before the age of 3 and last throughout a person's life, although symptoms may improve over time. Some children with ASD show hints of future problems within the first few months of life. In others, symptoms may not show up until 24 months or later. Some children with an ASD seem to develop normally until around 18 to 24 months of age and then they stop gaining new skills, or they lose the skills they once had. Studies have shown that one third to half of parents of children with an ASD noticed a problem before their child’s first birthday, and nearly 80%–90% saw problems by 24 months of age.

Autism looks different in every person who has it.  I have hi-lighted below some of the things we noticed early on, and even now, with Chase, but please know that not every child with Autism does these things or shows these symptoms.  And Chase doesn't do or act certain ways that other kids with Autism act either.  There are thousands of different signs and "red flags" that could indicate ASD.  Below are the "red flags" taken from the CDC website and how they relate to Chase.

Possible "Red Flags"

A person with ASD might:

• Not respond to their name by 12 months of age
  We started noticing around 12-15 months that Chase would "tune us out" when we said his name.  We would say his name over and over, louder and louder and he would just "zone out" or not even turn his head to look at us.  We literally had to get down in his face and make him look us in the face, still rarely in the eyes though.  Now, I can call his name from another room and he will come in to the room where I am to eat, or leave, or get dressed...early intervention and therapy are KEY!!!
• Not point at objects to show interest (point at an airplane flying over) by 14 months
  This is still something Chase will rarely do.  He has gotten better at pointing to objects or books when they are presented to him at school or in therapy or is he is asked a question regarding something being presented to him, but if he wants something out of reach he has never pointed to what he wants, or anything in the distance, etc.  I have videos of him around 11-12 months out in our front yard trying to point to a garbage truck going by, but aside from that incident I can't remember him pointing to anything ever.
• Not play "pretend" games (pretend to "feed" a doll) by 18 months
  Pretend play is something Chase still struggles with.  He is fine to play with toys or objects that have a clear function - like blocks, marble mazes, puzzles, play doh, etc., but he has never played "make believe" with anything.
• Avoid eye contact and want to be alone
  We started to notice Chase's lack of eye contact around a year old.  It progressively got worse around that time he would "zone out".  He looked like he was looking "through us" rather than at us.  Now he looks us directly in the eye and seems to really "see us".  He has always preferred to play alone or be off to the side doing his own thing.  He still does this quite a bit.  He likes to lay in his bed and play his iPad and have his "me time", but more and more recently he has shown less interest in being alone on his iPad and prefers to be with the rest of us, playing, and interacting...which is HUGE!!!
• Have trouble understanding other people's feelings or talking about their own feelings
  I am still not sure how much Chase understands regarding emotions.  I feel like he has always been more tuned to in to this than I realize though.  There have been several instances where he has seen me crying and come over to me and hugged or kissed me.  And there are plenty of times he sees us laughing or playing and comes over to join in the fun.  He has always been very loving and cuddly, which I am always grateful for.  He gives the BEST hugs ever! ;)
• Have delayed speech and language skills This was our NUMBER ONE red flag with Chase.  He was starting to say a few words around 12 months, but then they just stopped.  No more imitating sounds, just a lot of "squawking" and babbles.  He still refuses to even try to imitate sounds or language.  This is a huge struggle for him.  Even imitating oral motor exercises like sticking out his tongue or popping his lips or clicking his tongue are hard for him, although improving tremendously as of lately!
• Repeat words or phrases over and over (echolalia)
  This doesn't relate to Chase, as he is non-verbal, but I have friends who children on the spectrum "memorize conversation" and answers to questions.  Or kids who "script" repeating movies or cartoons over and over.
• Give unrelated answers to questions
• Get upset by minor changes
  Chase has never had a lot of meltdowns, but when he did they were bad.  Chase started having meltdowns over MINOR changes in routines or anything really around 15-18 months.  Even as he got older, he would flip out in the backseat if I drove a different route home.  His most recent meltdowns occur when he can't do his "routine" when we get home from school...he likes to go swing before he comes inside and when it's raining or he can't swing for some reason a 10 minute meltdown ensues.  His meltdowns are minor in comparison to some I have seen or heard from other ASD parents, but they are still meltdowns
• Have obsessive interests This wasn't initially a concern with Chase, but as he's gotten older he has become slightly OCD about things around the house.  For example, I got a new rug for his room, so I moved his old one in to Miles's room and he kept trying to drag them back to how they were before! ;)  I also rearranged a few things around the house recently and he moved them back - things like a candle and a ceramic pottery plate.
• Flap their hands, rock their body, or spin in circles
  Chase started flapping his hands around 15-18 months I think.  I can't remember exactly, but initially it wasn't that bad.  It got progressively worse, along with his jumping up and down and running aimlessly in lines back and forth.  He also used to take every toy he touched - whether a stacking cup, puzzle piece, lego, whatever he touched - he would try to spin it.  He would find anything round, like his stacking rings, and sit and spin them for HOURS...it was so frustrating.  The first 2 months after we started speech therapy with TEIS, I swear we spent the entire time trying to make him stop spinning toys.  We have come so far!  Other kids will spin themselves for hours though, or rock back and forth, or jump up and down.
• Have unusual reactions to the way things sound, smell, taste, look, or feel
  Chase began around 18-20 months old to be a VERY picky eater.  He got really sensitive to way food looked, felt, smelled...no matter how we tried to tweek his foods, if we changed brands or the way we cut something even, he wouldn't touch it.

Social Skills

Social issues are one of the most common symptoms in all of the types of ASD. People with an ASD do not have just social "difficulties" like shyness. The social issues they have cause serious problems in everyday life.

Examples of social issues related to ASD:

• Does not respond to name by 12 months of age
• Avoids eye-contact
• Prefers to play alone
• Does not share interests with others
• Only interacts to achieve a desired goal
• Has flat or inappropriate facial expressions
• Does not understand personal space boundaries
  Chase has a lot of sensory seeking behaviors that cause him to crave input, whether it's jumping on a trampoline or bouncy ball, or wanting deep pressure or hugs.  He used to always climb all over us, pressing his head in to ours or rubbing his head on our shoulders or backs.  It has gotten a lot better since we changed his diet and started some alternative treatments, but he still occasionally craves that input and will climb all over us (or anyone down on the ground that he can climb up on) ;)!
• Avoids or resists physical contact
  As I mentioned above, this has never been a concern for Chase, as he craves hugs and squeezes, but some kids hate to be touched or hugged.
• Is not comforted by others during distress
  Chase has always been very easy to calm down.  When he did or does have a meltdown they usually don't last long or we are able to redirect him to something else that makes him happy. 
• Has trouble understanding other people's feelings or talking about own feelings

Typical infants are very interested in the world and people around them. By the first birthday, a typical toddler interacts with others by looking people in the eye, copying words and actions, and using simple gestures such as clapping and waving "bye bye". Typical toddlers also show interests in social games like peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake. But a young child with an ASD might have a very hard time learning to interact with other people.

Chase was waving "bye bye" and blowing kisses and clapping around his 1st birthday, but those things gradually faded and went away and he just stopped being able to do them without hand over hand making him do them.  He has started clapping again, but waving "bye bye" still doesn't look like a typical wave from a typical child.

Communication

Each person with ASD has different communication skills. Some people can speak well. Others can’t speak at all or only very little. About 40% of children with an ASD do not talk at all. About 25%–30% of children with ASD have some words at 12 to 18 months of age and then lose them.1 Others might speak, but not until later in childhood.

Examples of communication issues related to ASD:

• Delayed speech and language skills
• Repeats words or phrases over and over (echolalia)
• Reverses pronouns (e.g., says "you" instead of "I")
• Gives unrelated answers to questions
• Does not point or respond to pointing
  As I mentioned above, Chase never pointed to things he wanted or objects when asked questions about them.  He also would not respond if I or a therapist pointed to something across the room.  He could not follow our finger or gaze to whatever we were pointing at to look at it.  We would say "look at the ball" a few feet to his side and he wouldn't even act like he knew what we were saying.  Now, he will look at things I point out to him, but it was amazing to realize how much of a struggle to understand it was for him. 
• Uses few or no gestures (e.g., does not wave goodbye)
• Talks in a flat, robot-like, or sing-song voice
• Does not pretend in play (e.g., does not pretend to "feed" a doll)
• Does not understand jokes, sarcasm, or teasing

People with ASD who do speak might use language in unusual ways. They might not be able to put words into real sentences. Some people with ASD say only one word at a time. Others repeat the same words or phrases over and over. Some children repeat what others say, a condition called echolalia. The repeated words might be said right away or at a later time. For example, if you ask someone with ASD, "Do you want some juice?" he or she might repeat "Do you want some juice?" instead of answering your question. Although many children without an ASD go through a stage where they repeat what they hear, it normally passes by three years of age. Some people with an ASD can speak well but might have a hard time listening to what other people say.

People with ASD might have a hard time using and understanding gestures, body language, or tone of voice. For example, people with ASD might not understand what it means to wave goodbye. Facial expressions, movements, and gestures may not match what they are saying. For instance, people with an ASD might smile while saying something sad.

Unusual Interests and Behaviors

Many people with ASD have unusual interest or behaviors.

Examples of unusual interests and behaviors related to ASD:

• Lines up toys or other objects
• Plays with toys the same way every time
• Likes parts of objects (e.g., wheels)
• Is very organized
  Chase is kind of OCD in this sense.  He likes things in a certain place and in a certain order.  Not to a point where he can't function or has a come-apart if they aren't that way, but he is still kind of particular about how he likes his room or things around the house (like I mentioned above)
• Gets upset by minor changes
• Has obsessive interests
• Has to follow certain routines
• Flaps hands, rocks body, or spins self in circles

Repetitive motions are actions repeated over and over again. They can involve one part of the body or the entire body or even an object or toy. For instance, people with an ASD might spend a lot of time repeatedly flapping their arms or rocking from side to side. They might repeatedly turn a light on and off or spin the wheels of a toy car. These types of activities are known as self-stimulation or "stimming."

People with ASD often thrive on routine. A change in the normal pattern of the day—like a stop on the way home from school—can be very upsetting to people with ASD. They might "lose control" and have a "melt down" or tantrum, especially if in a strange place.

Some people with ASD also may develop routines that might seem unusual or unnecessary. For example, a person might try to look in every window he or she walks by a building or might always want to watch a video from beginning to end, including the previews and the credits. Not being allowed to do these types of routines might cause severe frustration and tantrums.

Other Symptoms

Some people with ASD have other symptoms. These might include:

• Hyperactivity (very active)
  Chase is VERY active.  He craves sensory input and physical activity.  Sometimes I wish I had just a fraction of his energy!
• Impulsivity (acting without thinking)
• Short attention span
• Aggression
• Causing self injury
  Chase has gone through a few short phases of self injury type behaviors where he would his himself on the head or legs or throw himself down on the floor, but thankfully those didn't last very long and as his "sensory issues" have gotten better, so have these behaviors. 
• Temper tantrums
• Unusual eating and sleeping habits
  Chase has always been a great sleeper, since birth, but most recently, last year, he went through a phase where he would wake up in the middle of the night anywhere from 2am-4am just laughing hysterically at nothing or "talking" to himself and would be awake for several hours.  Sometimes he would wake up at 3-4am FOR THE DAY and never go back to sleep, until he crashed at some point during the day.  Melatonin is our best friend!
• Unusual mood or emotional reactions
  As I mentioned above...Chase has gone through phases where he would just laugh hysterically at nothing, or just start crying (so pitiful) for no apparent reason.  I realize now it was reactions to the food he was eating and they way his body was processing that food, but at the time we had no idea what was going on. 
• Lack of fear or more fear than expected
• Unusual reactions to the way things sound, smell, taste, look, or feel

People with ASD might have unusual responses to touch, smell, sounds, sights, and taste, and feel. For example, they might over- or under-react to pain or to a loud noise. They might have abnormal eating habits. For instance, some people with an ASD limit their diet to only a few foods. Others might eat nonfood items like dirt or rocks (this is called pica). They might also have issues like chronic constipation or diarrhea.

Gut issues are something I never thought that Chase had a problem with.  He was never constipated or had chronic diarrhea.  But I realize now, after several tests and doctors visits, he does in fact have a "leaky gut" as do a LOT of kids on the spectrum.  But that's a whole other post...

People with ASD might have odd sleeping habits. They also might have abnormal moods or emotional reactions. For instance, they might laugh or cry at unusual times or show no emotional response at times you would expect one. In addition, they might not be afraid of dangerous things, and they could be fearful of harmless objects or events.

I can honestly say that Chase's laughing and crying fits are due to his gluten and dairy sensitivities.  After we cut gluten and casein from his diet those things went away 100% and only rear their ugly head if he accidentally eats something with gluten or casein. 

Development

Children with ASD develop at different rates in different areas. They may have delays in language, social, and learning skills, while their ability to walk and move around are about the same as other children their age. They might be very good at putting puzzles together or solving computer problems, but they might have trouble with social activities like talking or making friends. Children with an ASD might also learn a hard skill before they learn an easy one. For example, a child might be able to read long words but not be able to tell you what sound a "b" makes.

Children develop at their own pace, so it can be difficult to tell exactly when a child will learn a particular skill. But, there are age-specific developmental milestones used to measure a child’s social and emotional progress in the first few years of life. To learn more about developmental milestones, visit "Learn the Signs. Act Early," a campaign designed by CDC and a coalition of partners to teach parents, health care professionals, and child care providers about early childhood development, including possible "red flags" for autism spectrum disorders.

I am not a doctor, nor an expert on Autism.  I simply know what we have experienced.  I urge anyone with the SLIGHTEST doubt or worry to contact a developmental pediatrician or TEIS (they will do an assessment on your child for free if under the age of 3) and have your child assessed!  You can never do this too early!  Early intervention is soooo important!

Autism Is...

Autism is a "spectrum" disorder.  It means a lot of different things to each person affected it by it, depending on where their child is on the spectrum.  Some kids with Autism are brilliant, verbal, but slightly socially awkward; while other kids are non-verbal, low IQ, "in their own world",  have severe behavioral deficits and are 100% dependent on a caregiver.  You will never meet 2 people with Autism who are alike.  There is a saying "once you have met one person with Autism, you have met one person with Autism".

A few autism "fun facts":
(taken from National Autism Association and TACA)

• Autism now affects 1 in 68 children
• Autism is a bio-neurological developmental disability that generally appears before the age of 3
• Autism impacts the normal development of the brain in the areas of social interaction, communication skills, and cognitive function. Individuals with autism typically have difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities
• Boys are four times more likely to have autism than girls
• About 40% of children with autism do not speak. About 25%–30% of children with autism have some words at 12 to 18 months of age and then lose them. Others might speak, but not until later in childhood
• Autism greatly varies from person to person (no two people with autism are alike)
• The rate of autism has steadily grown over the last twenty years
• Comorbid conditions often associated with autism include Fragile X, allergies, asthma, epilepsy, bowel disease, gastrointestinal/digestive disorders, persistent viral infections, PANDAS, feeding disorders, anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, ADHD, Tourette Syndrome, OCD, sensory integration dysfunction, sleeping disorders, immune disorders, autoimmune disorders, and neuroinflammation.
• Autism is the fastest growing developmental disorder, yet most underfunded.
• Children with autism do progress – early intervention is key
• Autism is treatable, not a hopeless condition

To me, Autism is NOT what defines Chase.  It is not a label, it is not who he is, it is not all that he is, is it merely a diagnosis, a road map of sorts, as to how he learns, interacts with and sees the world around him.   

In the beginning, the word AUTISM was scary.  Before we had the diagnosis I was terrified of it.  I thought everything about Chase would change if he got that diagnosis.  I was afraid people would only think of him as "autistic" and not see him for who he really is.  But in reality, he was already the way he was, and will be, and his diagnosis changed nothing about him.  And by the way...I hate the term "autistic". It's too defining.  Autism does not define someone, it is simply a SMALL part of who they are and how they learn, that's it.

I grieved the diagnosis when it was given.  The dreams I had for Chase, the plans, the "ideals".  Nothing was going to be how I had imagined it would be, or had planned it out in my head.  But that's when my eyes were opened and my faith restored.  Silly me for thinking I was ever in control or could actually plan out the future.  

Shortly after Chase's diagnosis I was doing my daily devotional and read this passage...

"I am leading you, step by step, through your life.  Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day.  Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy - even precarious.  That is how it should be.  Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things.  When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine.  This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion: doubting My promises to care for you.

Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me.  I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that.  Relax and enjoy the journey in My presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go."

Deuteronomy 29:29; Psalm 32:8

The things that Chase has taught me...I've elaborated on this before in a previous post, but they are things I would not have learned otherwise.  I began to see Autism as something more.  Yes, Autism sucks.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  There are a lot of hard days.  A lot of money spent.  A lot of researching.  And a lot of sleepless nights.  But in the midst of all the struggles, my eyes were opened to how beautiful Autism can be.  The relationships formed.  The tears shared.  The "club" of supporting moms.  Strangers willing to reach out and help because they "get it".  There are good people in this world.  

I have come to realize that all those "crazy biomedical moms" who chose alternative treatments (in conjunction with or in lieu of traditional therapies) are really on to something.  Don't get me wrong, I think the traditional Speech, OT and ABA therapies are key, but Autism is not just a learning or developmental disorder, it is also a disorder of the "gut".  My eyes have been opened to the toxic/GMO/processed/unhealthy world of food and drugs that we live in.  We have dipped our toes in the water of "biomedical" treatments for Chase, but from what we have seen so far, it has made all the difference in the world in helping his little gut "heal".  

The people we have met, the connections we have made, the journey we have taken...it has all been because of something MUCH bigger than ourselves or our sole efforts.  God has had a hand in this journey since before Chase was even born.  I know without a doubt He has big plans for all of us and I pray daily that He will use our experience to glorify Him and help others in similar situations or struggles.

April is Autism Awareness Month.  I challenge everyone to education yourself and others about what Autism actually is.  Because with growing statistics like 1 in 68, chances are you or your children will interact with someone with on the spectrum at some point.  

To Miles

I spend most of my time writing about Chase and therapies and diets and all things Autism related, but this past week "snowed/iced in" has gotten me thinking about Miles.  Albeit whiney and attention craving (what 2 1/2 year old isn't?), I've realized what all he has to put up with and how mature beyond his age he really is...so this post is for you Miles!

Dear Miles,
From the moment we found out we were pregnant with you we were thrilled with the idea of having a sibling so close in age with Chase (you would be 23 months apart)!  Having both had brothers and sisters so close in age, your dad I wanted the same for Chase (and for you).  When we found out that you were a boy, and that Chase was going to have a little brother, we were even more excited!

This was all before the reality of Autism crept in to our lives.

We had dreams of you two being best friends, playing sports together, being close throughout school, fighting over girls...typical dreams, of typical parents and typical families.  But our life is not typical.  As we counted down the days to your delivery, the realization of Chase's Autism also kicked in, and those dreams quickly shifted.

The months after you were born were both joyful and heartbreaking.  We took in every moment with you, getting to know you, and feeling the love in our hearts expand from one child to two.  But the reality that Chase would not dote on or notice his new little brother was always lurking.  He cried every time you cried.  He did not want to hold you or touch you or want anything to do with you.  He didn't know how to.  He didn't understand.  Those dreams of you two being best of friends felt shattered.

As time went by and you grew and developed and became mobile, you followed Chase ALL OVER the house.  You wanted to do everything your big brother did.  Play with everything he played with.  You just wanted to be near him, have his attention, if even for a few seconds.  You didn't get it often, but you never gave up.  You never stopped trying and you never got upset when Chase turned and ran the other way.

As hard as it was, and is, to watch sometimes, we are beginning to realize what an amazing little soul you are.  God has a big plan for your life and it started with being Chase's little brother.  We see you grow and develop in to a super smart little boy.  You are full of personality and humor.  You are relentless in your attempts to get Chase's attention, and you never give up on trying to engage with him, get him to play, give him affection.  You are the BEST built-in peer model any child with Autism could hope for! ;)

It has gotten better.  Chase has warmed up to you.  He actually pays attention to you now and laughs with you, wrestles with you, lays in bed with you, lets you hold his hand, and hugs you!  It warms our hearts to see the bond you two are forming, in your own little unique way.  And the empathy you are learning through your personal experiences at home is something we could never begin to teach you.

Miles, you are one amazing little boy!  You are so sensitive and caring.  So loving and gentle.  I sometimes cringe at the level of maturity you have had to rise to at such a young age, but I know God has put you in our lives for a special reason and that you will do wonderful things as you go through life.  You get away with A LOT more than I like to admit...but you also deal with WAY MORE than most 2 1/2 year olds should have to deal with at your age.

You are a true blessing dear sweet Miles and I thank God EVERY day for both you and Chase and all the amazing things you teach your dad and me!
xoxo

On The Fence

I've had a blog post brewing for a while now.   I wasn't sure how to put my feelings in to words, or even figure what exactly I feel on this subject of vaccines, but as the days have passed and more things keep getting thrown at me and in my face it has been tugging at my heart to share my thoughts and our story.  I'll preface this with: these are my opinions, I am NOT claiming to know everything, I am simply venting...I've had enough!

This all started with all these pro-vaccine/anti-vaccine articles and facebook rants that keep popping up in my news feeds.  I guess I'm adding another one to that list.  I get it though...the government and media are really good at fear-mongering.  They pick a topic of the day/week/month and continue to find and write articles to share with the general public to get them all riled up.  Congrats...it has worked!  Everyone is FREAKING out because a handful of people and kids have gotten measles.  Or kind of like the Ebola scare.  Or the flu vaccine/outbreak.  Everyone has an opinion and rightfully so.  But NO ONE has the right to judge or point fingers or call people names without knowing the whole story!  I'm tired of the blanket statements.

I used to be on the side of the fence that was pro-vaccine.  I never judged or thought that anti-vaccine people were irresponsible or crazy, it just wasn't the route we chose to go, initially.  When it comes to vaccines and Autism I never thought, and still don't think, that vaccines are THE CAUSE of Autism.  However, in the past year, I have changed my thoughts on a lot of things diet-related and vaccine-related.  I don't necessarily think vaccines cause Autism, but I do think that some kids with Autism should be in the group classified as "immune suppressed" because they are just that!  And some kids are genetically pre-disposed to react.  And vaccines DO play a part in contributing to Autism-like symptoms and regressions in those kids.  I've seen it first-hand now.  I've witnessed my child react and regress.

I've learned (some, not enough) about MTHFR mutations, methylation issues, glutathione levels, candida, parasites, gut bacteria, mitochondrial dysfunction, vitamin deficiencies...the list goes on.  I spend COUNTLESS hours every day reading and researching and trying to learn AS MUCH as I can about anything related to Autism that may help my son.  It's a full time job...it's endless...it's exhausting...it's scary...it's frustrating...and it's also rewarding and liberating when you find a piece of that puzzle that works!  It's a lot of trial and error.  Unfortunately there isn't enough money or research being done on causes of Autism or alternative treatments, but that's a whole other issue.  And unfortunately, parents are not made aware of simple tests that can be done to predetermine how their child will react to certain vaccines prior to injecting them.  Pediatricians aren't educated on MTHFR and such...it's not "popular science" so it's never even brought up, until it's too late.  And the damage is done.

Along the same lines, I used to think gluten-free/dairy-free diets were a hoax.  It wasn't "for us".  That alternative treatments were crazy and therapy was the ONLY proven thing that would work.  I never thought Chase had "leaky gut" because he was always so "regular" in his BMs...he was never constipated or had chronic diarrhea.   But I was not fully informed.  I only knew part of the story.  I had not done my due diligence in research.  I had not opened my mind to that train of thought, because I was not ready to hear it.  Because it is HARD.  The diet is tough, especially for kids who are picky eaters.  Change is hard too.  People get comfortable in their routines and lifestyles and don't want to make the necessary changes to better their health or their child's symptoms, so they criticize.  It happens all the time.  But now that I have opened my eyes/ears/mind/heart and learned what I have learned, I am starting to see a different side of the argument.  I now know that Chase does have a leaky/damaged gut, and I know it has nothing to do with his BMs (for the most part).  We have done the stool test, done the urine test, will probably do more tests, but we now know without doubt there is a connection.  Had I kept a closed-mind we may still be where we were a year ago, without as much progress, fighting the same battles every day.  Like a hamster on a wheel.

My point is, we all owe it to each other to do our research, try to see another point of view and open our minds to someone else's side of the argument, or at least their story, before pointing fingers and throwing out accusations, because no one side is right ALL of the time, especially regarding vaccines and alternative treatments.  There is no "One Size Fits All" solution to this argument.  Every child is different.  Every child reacts to things differently.  We are all just trying to do the best we can for our families.

It is so easy (and cowardly) to sit back and point fingers at everyone else.  It's easy to blame other people and jump on the bandwagon for the "popular side of the argument".  For us personally, the vaccine issue is a major struggle.  I'm terrified of both options...to vaccinate and to not vaccinate. I have experienced firsthand what it's like to watch your child react to every! little! thing! because his gut is so damaged and he is so extremely sensitive to the slightest things... foods/additives/OTC medications/soaps/shampoos/playdoh...  We are working so hard to get Chase's body back in balance, to optimize his ability to learn and function...it's a DAILY struggle.  I just ask that people try to be more compassionate and less judgmental until you know the whole story.

We all want our kids to be safe and healthy.  Bottom line.

Thank You 2014, Hello 2015!

I started this post right before Thanksgiving, as I was reflecting back on the past year.  As life does, things got crazy and busy and I never had time to sit down and finish this post.  So as the new year begins, reflecting back on 2014, not much has changed from my initial post...

I am especially thankful for everything I have learned in this past year.  I have learned patience, on a whole other level.  I have learned trust, deeper than I ever knew.  I have learned selflessness, even when I wanted to be selfish.  I have learned to love, in the hardest of times, and when I really wasn't feeling love.  And I have learned perseverance, even when I thought I could not take any more!

I am in no way patting myself on the back, because this past year has been anything but perfect and everything but pretty in this process of learning and growing.  It is a DAILY struggle and CONSTANT learning process, but I am so thankful for where it has gotten me and our whole entire family.  I am especially thankful for how it has made me grow as a person, in my faith, in my relationships, and in my ability to teach my children.

PATIENCE:
This is something I have to work on every single day.  I am not always patient, and often times lose it, but I have learned to recognize when those feelings are coming on and try to stop myself before it gets to the point of yelling and screaming or saying things I can't take back.  I've tried to learn to take a deep breath, think about the situation and who the adult is (ME - Ha!).  Because I'll be honest...2 1/2 year olds can PUSH YOUR BUTTONS in a way no other human has ever done before! :)  I have found that when I scream or yell, it only makes the situation worse.  But when I am calm and patient it's a learning opportunity for everyone involved.

Aside from 2 1/2 year olds, I have also learned to be patient with Chase and his progress.  It's hard when you see a child, especially one who has been non-verbal for 4 1/2 years and is now saying so many new words every day, not to want to push harder.  I am CONSTANTLY reading online and researching different treatment paths and diets.  I want so badly to do any and everything I can do keep this progress going, to speed it up, to push harder.  BUT I know that's not the best thing for him.  I know I need to be patient and give the things we are doing right now ample time to work before pursuing the next thing. I am sooooo thankful we were patient this time around when we started the GFCF diet.  And that we gave it time to really work.  I struggled.  I wanted to give up.  I wanted to let my child eat "normal" foods, I still do!  But I am so glad we stuck with it because the results have been truly amazing to witness!

Patience in God's timing.  We really started to see how His timing played out when we made the move to Nashville last year.  And God has not stopped showing us His timing and plan since we moved.  Every time we thought we were at a stand still or got inpatient, God revealed little glimpses of hope or His plan to us.  And it has been truly amazing to witness it play out each day/week/month...


TRUST:
I have not only learned to trust in God, but also others.  I have a very "Type A" personality.  I like to be in control of things, do things my way, and take charge.  I probably struggle with letting go of minor things and routines, more than anything else, but I am slowing learning to trust in others' abilities as well.  I'm sure my husband would be the first to tell you how anal I am at home, and how I like things to be done a certain way...I'm aware and working on it honey! :)

And speaking of my husband...I have always trusted him, in the sense that I knew he would always be faithful, and would always be there for us, and would always have my back, etc.  But this past year, through the ups and downs of therapies, financial struggles, unknowns, and all that life has thrown at us...I feel such a deeper trust in our relationship.  I feel like we can make it through anything and I'm so thankful that God put Chase in my life to be my partner through this journey because I cannot imagine doing life with anyone else.  He is my voice of reason, my calming force, he grounds me, and I know without a doubt that he would do ANYTHING to provide for us and give us everything we need!  He has trusted in all my crazy ideas, alternative treatments, diet plans, recipes.  And I absolutely could not make it day to day without his trust and support as well!

SELFLESSNESS:
I know I am not alone in feeling like I give 110% of myself to my kids, husband, friends and everyone but myself, most days.  I have never been this out of shape in my life or been so beat down tired at the end of the day.  It's easy to feel sorry for yourself or have the "woe is me" attitude when life gets hectic and your kids are at the age where they are SO DEMANDING, ALL! THE! TIME!  I have been working part time from home since April (typing medical dictations), so even though Miles started Mother's Day Out this fall, every spare minute of free time was now spent on working while they were in school.  And since putting Chase on such a strict, whole foods diet, every other spare minute of my day is now involving cooking (everything from scratch).  I spend most every day either carpooling, grocery shopping, cooking, wiping butts, dealing with meltdowns, or cleaning the house/doing laundry.  By the time Chase gets home from work I am usually at the point of losing it on one of the kids, but he swoops in almost every night and saves the day by doing bath time (while I start cooking, again!).  Once the kids are off to bed (which isn't usually until around 8:00-8:30), Chase and I will sit down to eat, if we didn't squeeze in a few bites in between bath and bedtime, then I plop on the couch to finish working (usually until 11:00-12:00 at night).  Which pretty much leaves Chase and I NO time for each other, much less any time for myself.  I have days where I feel sorry for myself, where I feel like I will never have "Me Time" ever again.  But when I see how crucial these little things are in making the boys happy, or things easier for Chase so he can go to work and not worry about them, it makes me think of it as a "job".  I am not good at sitting idle, or not working, but thinking of these daily things as a job has helped me realize how important these mundane tasks really are.
*Since I initially wrote this, after much prayer and discussion with Chase, I have quit working from home (as of mid-December) so that I can more time to focus on Chase's therapies, observing and sitting in on more sessions, and possibly even time to work out! ;)

One day I will make it back to the gym.  And one day I will lose that last 10lbs of pregnancy weight.  And one day I will be able to get a pedicure on a Tuesday!  But today I am thankful that I am in a position to GET to be at home with my kids.  To GET to take them to and from school every day.  To GET to stay home and cook all these things that have helped change Chase's life.  Because had I been at a 9-5 job, none of these things would be possible!

LOVE:
I love God.  I love Chase.  I love my kids.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  I love the fall.  I love the beach.  I love a lot of things.  But this past year, I am especially thankful for the love of my husband.
I love my husband dearly.  I am committed to him until the day I die.  This last year, like I have said before, had many ups and downs, and just like any other normal couple (they are lying if they say things are hunky dory 100% of the time), we have had our rough patches.  And I would be lying if I said that raising any child, much less a child with special needs, isn't hard on any marriage.  We've had our fair share of fights, disagreements, and resentments, but at the end of the day, we have grown through those times and risen above the conflict.  We are still working on things, every day, but my love and respect for my husband has grown more and more with each year (or day for that matter) of our marriage. He never ceases to amaze me.  He is the best father to our boys.  They LOVE and adore him so much, and it warms my heart to see that bond they share with him.  I am so thankful he is ours and that we get to raise our family together and grow old together.  I am thankful for our ever deepening love.

PERSEVERANCE:
This journey of Autism is not an easy one.  There are so many unknowns.  So little guidance.  So many options and paths.  No one will hold your hand.  No one will walk you through it.  It is a lot of work.  Lots of followup phone calls, emails, reminders.  Constant collaboration and communication between therapies and teachers.  It's easy to want to throw in the towel and just go with the flow.  It's much harder to push for what your child deserves.  To push for what they need.  To fight insurance for coverage.  To fight doctors to hear you out.  To fight people who don't understand everything you are doing.  I am thankful we never gave up.  I am thankful we keep pushing for Chase to get what he deserves.  I am thankful we stuck with his diet.  I am thankful we persevered through the rough patches...and I am soooo thankful for the progress Chase has made because of it all!  We are far from the end of this journey.  But we have a renewed sense of hope these last few months.  His progress has been AMAZING to say the least.  And I am thankful we stuck with our gut instincts and have gotten Chase the help he deserves and needs!

There are SO MANY reasons to be thankful for this year and I know that God has so many more amazing things in store for us all in 2015.  HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!