I usually don't write about the shitty parts of Autism. And I'll preface this post by saying that I am not writing this now to get sympathy or a pat on the back. I am simply writing this to be real. Autism is not all "Rain Man" and brilliant minds trapped inside quirky little kids with odd behaviors. There are a lot of shitty days. Literally!
Let's start with that while I'm on the subject. Potty training is a feat of it's own, even with neurotypical (NT) kids, but for kids with Autism it's a challenge on a whole other level. I wrote about our potty training experience with Chase here, here, here, here and here. YEAH, that's a lot of potty posts. And that's not even a fraction of what it really entails. That was just to get him to pee on the potty. Not even poop. That was January 2014. Since then, Chase is (was) very independently using the bathroom to pee and not having accidents. He is still not dry all night so he sleeps in a pull-up. But he stays dry all day at school, goes independently while he's there and does great. BUT, since our move, it has become an issue again. So many factors and variables playing a part lately it's hard to tell what is causing the regression of peeing his pants, but it only happens at home, in the afternoons, and usually only when he's outside playing. But some days it happens 4-6 times!
Is it a behavioral/attention-seeking thing?
Is it an allergy?
Is it the homeopathy we are doing?
Did he eat something he wasn't supposed to?
Is it because we did not have filtered water for the first 5-6 weeks after we moved in?
Is it because he was in a new environment and out of his "routine"?
Is it because of the chemicals and smell of fresh new paint?
Or is it because there was mold discovered growing inside our air conditioning unit that had been blowing back in to the house circulating mold spores for us to breathe?
Who the hell knows?!? But these are the thoughts and questions going through my mind. I know I sound like a crazy person, but any other "bio-med autism mom" knows exactly what I'm talking about!
Pooping is a whole other beast! For Chase it's sensory related, or a control thing. Without going in to a lot of nasty details, he just preferred/prefers to go in a pull-up standing up. It's not that he is incontinent. He knows when he has to go. He used to go get a pull-up, bring it to me to put on, then come get me to change him. We worked on pooping in the potty off and on since he was originally potty trained January of 2014. It was not until a few weeks before we moved, January of 2016 that he FINALLY got it! 2 years later, he started pooping on the potty! OH HAPPY DAY! That lasted about 3 weeks until we moved in the new house. Now he has pooped his pants just about every day since we have moved. He doesn't even bother to get a pull-up anymore. And sometimes multiple times a day. So nasty! So fun!
Let's talk about annoying behaviors. Those go in cycles. Some of the most recent ones have been:
1) Hiding things all over the house. This includes toys, chapstick, glasses, wedding rings, shoes, etc.
2) Jumping off EVERYTHING. Chase would climb up on anything he could get to (couches, chairs, window sills, dressers, shelves, deck railings) and jump off to the ground. That was really fun to wake up to at 5:30 in the morning. (THUD!) Made my heart stop beating just about every time...waking up from a dead sleep to that sound. Thank God that phase is gone, for the most part.
3) Dropping things. This was a visual "stim". He would pick up toys, silverware, grass, rocks, anything really, hold it up to his eye and drop it. We had several things broken during this phase.
4) Eating dirt. Sitting in the back yard, eating mulch, weeds, rocks...I don't even begin to know why?
But I always go back to those questions above. Everything is related to those factors...always. If one of those things is off, everything it off! It's a constant guessing game and balancing act.
Sleep. Or lack there of. This one has not been an issue for a while, until we moved. Chase used to wake in the middle of the night all the time. Going to bed was also a huge battle. It would take him forever to settle down and fall asleep. Diet change helped with this tremendously though and until we moved sleep was great! Since we moved though, Chase has woken at least 2 nights a week (a lot more recently) between midnight and 4am. He will jump out of bed, bust in to our room giggling and get into our bed. Sometimes he is awake for 30 minutes and will fall back asleep. Sometimes he will toss and turn and "talk" for 2 hours then pass out. Sometimes he will wake at 3/4am and never go back to sleep. Those days are long! I feel like a walking zombie most days lately.
Some other awesome things we have gotten past now, but dealt with for a long time are:
1) Epic tantrums and meltdowns both in public and at home. Diet change has played a large part in getting rid of these meltdowns, but it used to be really bad. There were mornings where Chase would wake up and just the sound of Miles talking would send him in to a raging fit, throwing himself on the floor and screaming for 30+ minutes. Those days are rare now.
2) Poop smearing. You hear this a lot with kids on the spectrum. We were lucky that it didn't last long with Chase and wasn't terrible, but he would do it all over his bed. Ok, enough about that.
3) Teeth grinding. This was not pleasant to listen to while trying to drive, or any time for that matter. Diet changes also have helped this pass.
4) Vocal stimming. I can't even begin to describe what this noise sounded like, but Chase would make this horrific noise while watching his iPad or visually stimming on something and it sounded like a dying cat and was so loud! He used to do it for hours! I wanted to pull my ear drums out of my ears.
5) Eloping or running off. Chase hasn't been too bad about this, but there were definitely times he would scare the crap out of me and run for the hills faster than I could catch him. I have friends who found their kids several streets away after they snuck out of the house, or hiding quietly in the house. And when they are non-verbal and won't answer to you call, you lose your lunch trying to find them!
I'm sure there are more. I don't want this to be a depressing post. I know everyone has their own daily drama. Kids are hard regardless of a diagnosis or not. I get the best of both worlds. Typical "three-nager" drama and autism-friendly drama! ;) Wouldn't have it any other way! Just trying to keep it real here!
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