I Love Mondays

Weekends = no work, relaxation, sleeping in, eating out, fun Saturday family outings, church on Sundays, maybe lunch afterwards...

But not for us.  Weekends seem to be more exhausting that weekdays in our house.  I recently read another Autism blog that touched on this subject as well.

Most people live for the weekends (TGIF right?), no school for the kids, no schedules, no commitments or routines.  But for us, those are the things that make life easier with Chase.  He thrives going to school, having routines, having things to constantly keep him busy and entertained.

On the weekends it's just US.  I know it sounds terrible to say that, but it is exhausting trying to keep him stimulated and entertained for an ENTIRE day, much less an ENTIRE weekend.  It's work!  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE family time and I love not having to drive carpool all day and just having Big C around to help entertain or intercept a tugging toddler, but it's still WORK, for us both!

Chase has a VERY busy schedule that keeps him very structured during the week.  He goes to Glendale Elementary Early Pre-K program Monday through Friday mornings from 8:00am to noon.  I pick him up between 11:30 and 12 and we come home for lunch, to repack his backpack & snacks, and we leave for Brown at 12:45.  He goes to Brown from 12:45 to 4:00pm, Monday through Thursday, then it's home for dinner, bath and bed around 7:30-8:00.  Friday afternoons they are off from Brown (it's a day they spend going over each child's goals from that week and setting goals for the next week).

Chase has always been an early riser too, sometimes 4:00 or 4:30am (FOR THE DAY!!!).  Those are the days he gets his iPad and HAS to stay in his room until at LEAST 6:00 or 6:30am.  Most days though he's up around 6:00am...this includes the weekends.  Makes for a LONG day!

I'll be honest, Chase doesn't really like to "play" with many toys either.  There are not many things that can keep him entertained or hold his attention for more than a few minutes (except his iPad).  He doesn't really like to watch TV either.  This makes it especially difficult to get him engaged or entertained for extended periods of time.  And I hate to always give him the iPad because it becomes something that he "stims" on (making a very loud and annoying whiney/yell noise that will wear on every last nerve in me if I hear it too long).

So by the time we do breakfast, clean up and make a cup of coffee it's only maybe 7:30am.  What to do?  What to do?

At this point he usually gets the iPad for a little while, while we attempt to enjoy our coffee and maybe even eat breakfast (something that usually doesn't happen during the week because we are scrambling out the door for work and school).  Nothing is really open this early in the morning so we waste time, clean the house, maybe do some laundry until around 9:00am or until something is open where we can run an errand and get out of the house.

It's especially hard this time of year when it's so cold.  We are so limited on what we can do.  In the warmer months we would go walk right after breakfast before it got too hot then play outside and maybe go swimming before lunch, but right now it's too cold to do much (except for this week HALLELUJAH!).  So we settle for "errands", or just walking around a big store to waste time and let the boys look around.

We have to strategically plan our outings with Chase, and even Miles somewhat, though.  We have to make sure we have everything they could possibly want or need (drinks, snacks, diapers, pacifiers, etc.) if we are going to be gone for any length of time.  We have to have an escape plan and we have to tag team the boys.  Each of us assigned to a child to "manage" behaviors and keep them from running off.

This past weekend we went to an "Autism-friendly" performance of Billy Goats Gruff that the Nashville Opera put on for the kids through Vanderbilt's TRIAD program.  It was a good idea in theory.  And looking around, most kids did really well.  Even Chase sat in my lap and watched (a little bit).  Miles was actually the one ruining this outing.  He was with Big C this trip and would NOT sit still to save his life.  He kept screaming to run up on the stage, arching and kicking because he didn't want to be held, disrupting the entire audience and acting worse than the kids with Autism!  I pulled out my bag of goodies, but he wanted nothing to do with his juice, goldfish, paci or iPhone.  Needless to say we left after 45 minutes.

We can usually find something to do out of the house until close to lunch and then we come home to do that whole routine.  Eating out is a challenge and a blog post of it's own.  It has to be REALLY planned out in advance and at a place where food is served very QUICKLY, and it doesn't happen with the boys very often.

At this point, after lunch, Miles takes a nap so Chase gets the iPad again to try and keep him quiet and from running and yelling all over the house.  If he doesn't have his iPad or something to keep him engaged, he is hopping/jumping all over the house, yelling and pacing back and forth.  I guess it's a way he "stims" or is looking for sensory input, but either way it's VERY LOUD and very annoying so we give him the iPad so we won't wake up Miles.

It's a challenge to keep him quiet for 2-3 hours at a time.  If we haven't gone anywhere that morning, or even if we have sometimes, Big Chase or I one will try to take him on an errand and out of the house for a little while.  Chase enjoys running errands, looking around stores, riding in the car.  He is actually the easier of the 2 boys to do errands with.

By the time Miles is awake sometimes is nice enough to play outside, but if not we try to do puzzles, books, blocks, trains, ANYTHING to kill a little time...4:00pm to 6:00pm is what I like to call the "Witching Hour".  The HARDEST part of the day.  The boys are whiney, hungry, demanding, high maintenance, (Chase is exhausted at this point because he's been awake so long)...you name it!  WHEN WILL THEY BECOME SELF SUFFICIENT ENOUGH TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES EVEN FOR 30 MINUTES???!!!  And by this time of day I am completely spent and my nerves are fried.

I'm not trying to wish away their younger years because there are so many wonderful things about each of their ages right now, but it will be nice when they learn to play alone, or heck, even if they could play together!  I feel guilty using the iPad (or the TV for Miles) as a crutch as much as I do, but I am TIRED, and sometimes I just need a break.  And it won't kill them!

Church is another thing that's almost impossible with Chase.  Besides the fact that they have literally been sick every week for the last 3 months, it's hard to take Chase to church.  Big Church will never happen it seems, but even the nursery is a challenge.  The ladies are nice enough, but not equipped to know how to deal with kids with Autism.  I have sat in there during services trying to explain how Chase communicates, how to read what he wants, etc.  But I still always feel so guilty leaving him in there.  I feel like they don't know how to engage with him, or never can tell what he wants.  It's distracting during church because I constantly worry about him in the nursery and if he's ok.  So lately Chase has been going or we have been alternating services.  Mainly because I don't want the boys getting even sicker, but also because I don't like to take Chase.  There it is.  I don't get anything out of church when I'm only worrying about him the whole time!

I actually look forward to Mondays.  I may be the only person in America who loves MONDAY!  It's like my weekend/free time is starting.  Chase goes back to Glendale, Miles goes to Brown and MOMMA GOES TO THE GYM ALONE!!!  It's my only outlet, the few hours I have while the boys are in school to clean the house, do laundry without it being torn apart right after I fold it, go to the grocery alone, go to the gym!

Maybe one day weekends will get easier...but for now, I love Mondays!