I say this all the time, but I am continually blown away at the things Chase teaches me and shows me every day! I know that ALL kids are a blessing in their own special ways, but Chase has taught me SOOOO much about life and faith and humility in the 4 years I have been blessed to be his mommy.
I see God working so many miracles through him and teaching me so much in the process. Every day is a different battle, but I have learned to TRY to see the positive in every situation. It's not always easy, but I know that things could ALWAYS be worse for us. There are people in this world going through much harder things and living in much much harder circumstances. I don't ever want to negate other people's struggles. I try to be thankful every day for the things we have and the opportunities God has set before us.
Patience has never been something I have been particularly good at. I am an instant-gratification kind of person, or at least a person who likes to make things happen myself. I have mentioned in previous posts, with us trying to move to Nashville, that that was one of the toughest tests of faith and learned patience that I have ever had to go through. God continues to show me patience every day with the boys. If it's not a temper tantrum with Miles, it's cleaning up ANOTHER poopy "accident" with Chase (we are still working on this part of potty training), or picking up the 1000th toy that they have thrown all over the house, or vacuuming up the millionth crush goldfish on the floor....the list goes on. To make matters worse, the last few months have been ESPECIALLY tough with the boys being as sick as they have been, on top of me adjusting to my new role as full-time stay at home mommy. I am not complaining AT ALL about this new title because I know I am lucky to be able to stay home with the boys, but it has been an adjustment in itself and really tested the limits of my patience.
Words don't always express "I love you". For the longest time all I hoped and prayed for was for Chase to talk...to say ANYTHING. I still long to hear him say "I love you mom", but God has opened my eyes to the many other ways Chase says he loves me.
Hugs have always been something Chase has been really good at giving. And lately he has known EXACTLY when I need one. I can be on the couch on the verge of tears (out of frustration, exhaustion, hormones, whatever), or laying in bed feeling crummy and sick, and he gives the most tender sweet hugs. I know it's his way of saying, "I love you mom". I can just tell. And in those sweet moments I thank God for him and everything HE teaches ME. I watch him interacting with Miles and playing nicely and it warms my heart. It's truly an answered prayer from God. I watch them laughing together and sharing those moments and nothing makes me happier in life. True humility.
And icing on the cake, the last few weeks Chase has started saying "mamma" to me. He doesn't do it often, and it's usually a whisper, but he has said it more times than I can count lately. And those sweet sounds coming out of his mouth make me want to jump for joy and thank God for all the therapists and teachers and people in his life who have gotten us to this point! I am truly truly grateful for the opportunities we have been given here in Nashville. Looking back on the last year and everything we have gone through to get to this point has made me realize even more how thankful I am that God has given us/me this opportunity to share our story and advocate for Chase (and all kids with Autism) and help other people on this journey!
Thank you, again, Chase for opening my eyes every day to something new and teaching me so much on this journey we are sharing!
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